It was an obsession .One which I couldn’t get rid of .Once I had set my mind to it I had to get it done and so there I was waiting with.... trepidation in the waiting room of the clinic. It was now or never Three times before I had tried the time tested old method but to no avail .It did not last even a month . A friend had got hers done from here and had recommended the clinic My family had no idea of my intention and if they had any inkling I wouldn't be sitting here. I read the board hanging above the room opposite to where I was seated ,Dr Kurien (surgeon) “God “ I prayed silently ,”give me strength to go through this .”I watched the others who were waiting along with me ,Anxiety was writ large on their faces .I could hear my heart thudding in my chest .(wondered if they could too )I almost got up ready to make a run for the door .No one would be any wiser .and none would know I had even attempted to get it done .But my spirit rebelled .Now or never ..I reminded myself ..So now be it !
A nurse peeped out from the doctors room .She scanned our faces and her eyes focused on me ,”Are you for the surgery ?Have you got an appointment for today ?”I gulped and stammered ,”yes..yes ‘” getting up from my seat .My hands felt clammy .i walked towards her and showed her the slip .She took a look and bade me wait .After five minutes which seemed like eternity to me she appeared and signaled me to follow her .Stepping behind her my courage seemed to fail me as I thought of the risk I was taking and of my ignorant family at home .I chanted ,”now or never ‘” like a mantra and trudged behind her
We came to the door which had Operation theater written large on it .I was led inside where another nurse handed me the green gown and showed d me a cubicle to change I handed over my bag and stepped in .Wonderingly I changed ….oh god I was told it was a simple procedure ..then why all this ?Have they got me confused with some one else ?Would I go back minus an organ ?Are they running an illegal kidney stealing racket here ? Should I make a run for it when I could still do it ?Did the nurse have a sinister smile or was it a smile of sympathy ? My mind went on an overdrive .
As I stood contemplating I saw the doctor stepping into the room .I was then led to a steel contraption .the operation table ,told to lie on it and was covered upto my chin with a green cloth .( would the green be replaced by white after I was done ! ) From the corner of the my eye I could see the surgeon washing his hands and donning the gloves and a mask .He came towards me .I shut my eyes tight .He nudged me and asked me to open my eyes and said , “Relax ,itll be over in two seconds .”(what ? My life ? ) I gave him a watery smile .I could see the nurse ready with the instruments standing next to him .I went back to my eyes shut status The operation began .I could smell and feel the coldness of the anesthesia and then every thing went numb .I kept my eyes shut (ignorance is bliss )and opened it only when I was asked to hand him the nose ring which I had , clutched tightly in my hands ..He then proceeded to insert it and screw it tight .I felt no pain at all Well it was over …a wish of mine had come true .the diamond winked and shone as I stepped out of the clinic . I felt like a film star
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