Puppy(et) love

The makeshift puppet tent at the fair was filled to the brim .She pushed her way towards one side of the curtain and flopped down on the nearest chair she saw .She felt rather than saw him taking the chair next to hers .She had been avoiding him for the past two days but to day he had attached himself to her and followed her .He tried to take her hand in his She let him. He deserved at least that .Moreover she didn’t want to make a scene.

He began , “so why did you run away ?You knew id come after you .”

“I was scared.”She whispered

“of what ? Me ?”

“No ..not you exactly …oh, I don’t know”

“We have discussed this before and now why the change in you ?”

“Its not you ..its your family ..i don’t think they like me”

“My family is my concern ,not yours .You have to think only of me”

“Hmmm ..even then, they need to approve …”

“I don’t care …I love you and I am ready to give them up for you and that’s my last word .”

“Believe me... ..i do believe you.”

“Then don’t stall …come away with me .Lets run away”

“Run away ?...where will we live? What will you do ?”

“Don’t worry .I will start a business” .

“Business ? you ? but where ? How?”

“Trust me …don’t you ?”

“Oh I do ..but don’t you think we need some planning ?”

“Okay …..Do you love me ?”

“I love you…. truly .”

“Enough to trust me ?”

“Yes …yes I do truly.”

“Then that’s all I need.”

“But we cant live on love alone.”

“What else do we need ?”

“Well ….let me see…,”she stammered searching for the right word.

There was a thunderous applause .The show had come to an end .The lights dimmed .People began streaming out laughing and talking at the same time .

She fell silent and so did he

Footsteps were heard coming nearer.Some one shone a torch to their faces and shouted, “They are here”A hand stretched out and picked her up and him along with her as .their hands were entwined If it was thought to be strange ,it was not commented upon .They were dropped into the box and the footsteps hurried away to collect the others

She fell on top of him .He hugged her close and she cuddled closer to him .The lid closed over them and they slept .Tonight was theirs .

The Man with a Mission

He entered the library as I sat making notes for an upcoming event .Tall ,well built with a pleasant face ,dressed like an executive sans the tie .My gaze went quickly to his shoes .They were shiny (shoes betray people )and of an okay make .I had seen him earlier in the office with our HM and thought he was an acquaintance of hers .

“Excuse me madam ,may I sit here ?”

I nodded (I hate being disturbed )He seated himself a little away from me and took out a book .I turned back to my work .I was aware of the silence in the room .As the school was not working that day, the room was silent and so were the corridors.
“What if ….”.my ever confused emotional mind began a dialogue with my practical mind “Should I get up and go ?.”

“Don’t be silly .”

“.i can scream ,cant I…”

“Who will hear you ?”

“Hmmmm….thats true”

Pretending to be deep in thought ,I took a survey of the room .The door was at the other end and I could make a run for it

“Wont you look silly ?”began practical my mind again ,

“So? isn’t it ..better to be safe than sorry .”

“Wait, let him make a move first”

“Right.” .

So I settled down to complete my work .Before that I took out my only weapon from my bag – my mobile, and placed it on the table

My ears were cocked up for any sound from him

“Er ,madam you seem to be busy .”
Nearly jumping out of my skin I smiled weakly ( Dude, are you blind ?)

Oh yes …some reports (none of your business anyway !.)

“Are you working here ?”he continued

(Why else would I be here, on a holiday ..you nit wit ?)

“Yes ..i am a teacher here .”

“Oh great!”

(what’s so great , I am not the president, just a primary teacher)

“May I take some time to talk to you”

(If I had some time I wouldn’t be here. )

I saw him getting up and I placed my hand on the mobile ….i could hurl it at him and buy time to make my escape .

Taking care to hide my thoughts from him I said politely ,”yes ..sir ….”(don’t judge a book by its cover )

He dragged a chair close

He began ,”you see I was not the man you see before you “

(Oh ..a sex change ..wouldn’t believe looking at him )

“I was a drunkard”

(Hmmm…)

“I was only 26 at that time.

(good for you ..so what are you trying to say ? )I schooled my expression to show interest .(its always best to humour a maniac )

“Then I was into drugs.”
(this was getting better and better )

My hand tightened over the mobile and I my feet hunted for shoes under the table

“I have had everything under the sun and then it was women…”

(Dude gimme a break .I ‘ve got the picture …you needn’t continue )

My feet slipped into my shoes (being ready is work half done )

My face expressionless, I stared at him

“Then everything changed…I was brought back from the dead “

(Dude ,you were better off dead )

It was my cue .. “oh ..How ..Who …?”

“My savior .the great Lord. He saved me ,he gave me back my life.”

(Okay ..got it ..now scoot ..)

“Madam ,would you like Him to help you too”

(from what ?from you ?if only he would )

Er,….no thanks , I am a bit busy now ,”said I ,”besides I have not yet attained your status in drinking before you were saved I have reached only at ,an occasional glass of wine …and as I am happily married other things have not crossed my mind yet .When I do need saving Ill surely let you know

I gathered my books and walked away as fast as I could ,without looking back .

The Mistress

She was his latest .He waxed eloquent when she was the topic .Her body ,her complexion ,her attitude …her looks …..Nothing was good enough for her .she had to have the best .Her her clothes ,her music system were the best that money could buy .He never tired of extolling her virtues and was always very sensitive to her moods .Her sound was pure music to him .Every whisper, every murmur had him running round in circles ..He never rested till she was happy .She was to look perfect when he took her out .and proud to show her off

His sensitivity where she was concerned knew no bounds and she knew well to play on his feelings .She had this sixth sense to play up on the days any outing was planned . .It would start with a hiccup followed by a cough ,then a wheeze and then the refusal to go anywhere. He would then peer into her insides ,a wipe there ,a pat here and she would be fine .He pored over journals and books to see what was good for her ,what will keep her purring and what will irritate her .And moody …by God she was …!

Every weekend you’d find him under her (no pun intended ).He would clean out her innards and wash her undersides till she groaned. He would spent hours brushin and polishing her body till she shone Any one who dared touch her had him to content with .All this attention as a wife that had to come to me was bestowed on her and the green eyed monster in me was straining at the leash to have a go at her .

But little does she know how fickle he is .She does not know that she is not the first one .She is his fifth .A new babe in the market …that’s all it takes for him to leave her .

Of late she’s been too cranky .Its her heart ..i believe its not working good as usual …the tubes, the valves or something ..there’s a murmur ….I’ve heard him discussing this with her specialist

Just days back I ve seen him poring over the pics of a new baby called Manza ….Dear Indica… I think your days are numbered …….

Fish curry a' la mohandas

Oh all right …all those who know me, knows that I am a lousy cook .Cooking is an art my husband is born with .(all thanks to his grandmother who honed this art to perfection in him )Ive done nothing to hinder it but only has seen to it that his talent is kept alive by handing over the kitchen to him from the time I got married .

The other day I had my cousin and her spouse over for lunch .Now my cousin is married to a true blue Goan . My husband knew that he came from the land of fish eaters (just GK ).So who better to test his fish recipes on. He looted our local fishmarket and we had- fish fried ,baked, smoked and curried .The only thing he didn’t attempt was a fish desert ( thank god for small mercies !)
Now the food was so good that I had our guests begging for the recipes .It was then it dawned to me that it would be a good thing to put it up for all those fish lovers out there….
And here it is …Meen kootaan a la Mohandas (u can pronounce it Maen-kut-ahn a la mohan…... Adds to the flavour! Sounds exotic too )

Ingredients
1 Sardines ..as much as you want (Please get it cleaned ,This recipe is for one Kg )
2. two large onions
3. Garlic .20 t0 25 pods (don’t forget to skin them )
4 .Ginger –a 1inch piece (use a ruler or inch tape )
5. 1/2 a coconut
6. Two tsp cumin
7 1 cup curd (the sour ones are better I am told )
8. Two green chilies –sliced
9. ¼ tsp turmeric powder
10.Two and a half to three tsp chillie powder
11. .salt to taste
12 . Tamarind the size of a small lime (soak it in warm water ,squeeze out to make a paste )
14 curry leaves (10 t0 15 )

I think I ve got it all Please improvise if you think some thing is missing

Method or is it procedure ( what ever !)

Grind the coconut (remember you have to scrape it first ) with cumin and the curd .(.add a little water if it is too thick and the mixie gets stuck) .Keep it aside
Slice the onions (not all of it ) keep a bit aside like about 1/4th
Add the powders (turmeric and chilly ) add the green chillies ,garlic (crushed) ginger (pieced )and curry leaves
Mix well with your hand (don’t forget to wash your hand after that ) .
Add 3 to4 cups of water , boil the whole lot .When the water is boiling well add the fish , the salt and the tamarind paste
.Boil till the water is reduced to 1/3 rd DO NOT STIR .
Now add the coconut- curd mixture to it and bring it to a boil .Keep boiling till you get the desired thickness
.Take it down from the stove
Now for the seasoning :
Take the small piece of onion kept aside …cut it into small pieces .Fry it in oil (preferably coconut) and add to the curry .Again a note of warning DO NOT STIR .Place a lid over the bowl so that the flavour does not escape .
Open at the time of serving .You are permitted to stir it lightly then .(me thinks ...the secret to the taste lies in not stirring )

Folks try it out ….and let me know
More to come if you liked it

Overheard .........

• In a car …

"The person whose car you are trying to overtake is not reacting …."

• At a house …

"Feel free to use our toilet …its dirty any way ."

"He wants a customized ear piece as he is selective in hearing ."

• in a class for 8 year old s

"We use our reproductory organs to breath ."

• In a driving school for cars …..

"We put out our left hand when we want to turn left."

"If I have an accident …i'll faint"
"Madam ,What if you caused it ?"
"All the same ,i'll faint."


"Madam ,I hope you are aware that each speed has a different gear"

• Man to his wife to be ……

"I am a regular at the bar ."(!!!!)

• At a mall ….

Young woman to young man (maybe her husband )
"How dare you knock my father down ……"

• At the hospital …..

"Don’t worry ,Its only a safety pin that he has swallowed and it was not open ."

• One four year old to the other …..

"Yesterday at the circus, the elephant stamped my toe …see i've put a handy plast on it"

• At a wedding …..

"Come again ….She s your aunt’s husband’s niece who is married to your brother’s wife’s ……".

• Seven year old to her mother ..

"Capital of Maharashtra ? I wrote Delhi but Sithara wrote Kapil Dev ."

"I ate all the chocolates because you didn’t tell me not to ."

• Man to five year old…..

"Son what is d. o.g"
"Dog"
"Ok so now you ask me something .....anything ."
"Okay …what is s.p.q"

• At the dentist …..

"Madam they are not cavities ,they are manholes. "

• Six year old first born ……

"Why didn’t you ask God for a better baby who’s not so naughty ?"

• A man to his car

"Now…what’s your problem today!!"

• Nineteen nothing to friend

"Oh I am so much in love with him"
Eeeek ..he’s a freak !!!
"That’s the best part"

• Son to mother

“Are you happy going over the pictures in the obituary page everyday ?Don’t you want to see yours on it someday ”

Shoe string ties

The street was bustling with people unleashed. . Sales and sales everywhere…. …and there I stood...on the brightly lit street with no particular thought in my mind .Faces hurried past me .. Bodies jostled to get into the buses and the autos did 80 to 360 degrees in that small space adding to the general confusion
I shifted my gaze to the vendors seated .From where I stood..in front of a hardware shop (my husbands idea of paradise )I could see the lady with the bananas, the lime man the,flower vendor and the girl with the greens .As they counted out the change and tucked them into their hidden pockets in the folds of their sarees and shirt, they carried on with their talks .A laugh here ,a sneer there and ,a shout to someone across the street in a world by themselves. I turned .My eyes picked and chose people by their attire and attitude...Colours mingled and separated to come together again ,Mothers dragging tiny tots ,wives dragging behind their hurrying husbands ,couples holding hands and strolling with all the time in the world …it was then I felt that I was being watched .I turned passing my eyes over the crowd , I saw her ,She was standing just a few feet away in front of a medical shop .
I searched her face …no no one I knew...Her clothes were trendy and new She was young and pretty in a newly married way .and that she was ,clear from her Punjabi ‘choodas’.But what caught my attention were her shoes Oh… they were so pretty .Being a shoe collector from birth (as my mother puts it )I could not take my eyes of them .They were delicate .Silver straps criss crossed over her toes to end in a studded buckle and her feet too, was perfect for it, well shaped and delicate ,the heels were silver. I stared and stared, I itched to know where she bought them from.
Now patience is not one of my virtues but impulsiveness is. (And quite proud of it too)In fact it’s my second nature.
I walked across to her and said “Hi, Nice Shoes” She looked taken aback .Her eyes filled up (Dear God ….what have I done now??)She caught my hand and with a smile said “Sorry, it’s just that you are the first person who has talked to me after coming here. I’ve been here for six months now .and have no friends, other than my husband of course...” She gave a light laugh and continued “Sorry I was staring …it was your shoes really...I had a similar one back in Chandigarh and I felt so nostalgic …….”

Vishu ....once more

One more Vishu ...As usual preparation starts the day before .Buying of vegetables ,grains ,cereals ,fruits,unniappams and of course Konna .Now this is the traditional one followed by my mother and i guess by the rest of the world at large .Now my sister and I ,we have a different way of looking at things .The usual 'Kani' is not for us and has not been so for some years .We keep things we are in need of, that particular year .Think positive and visualise your needs is our policy and as a first step towards this is keeping those objects or at least the models of those as 'Kani' by which we believe we will get it some time before the year ends .
Last year we had kept mobile phones ,the ones at home and the pictures of the latest models we wanted ,We also kept models of Mercedes Benz ,Lamborghini and a small aeroplane .And believe it or not I lost my old mobile and was gifted a new and better one ..so was the case with my sister .Now didn't get a Mercedes but my neighbour gave me a lift in his (fair enough !,I am not greedy)
This year our priority was different .This year Ive kept a laptop (the one I use is borrowed)and my sister has kept her microwave (she needs a new one )I did plan to keep my electric cooker but was vetoed by my Lord and master but he got the hint (I am half way there)and yes i kept a cutting of the latest canon (camera).
Even the Gods have undergone a change .I have gone for Murugan this year as i had only his picture and i felt that he deserved some consideration too .I also added the figure of a galloping horse because i want this year to go fast .Last year was too slow for me . This time instead of a plane i kept the model of a sailing ship .(planning to travel this year and see a few places )As eatables this time it was cashewnuts ,almonds and raisins. My daughter placed an empty pizza carton (her favourite )and a pamphlet of Dominoes Pizza which she stuck in an empty bucket of Baskin Robbins .
Not to be left behind my Lord and Master brought a brick (He is into constructions )and a bag of cement and placed it along with the other things .
All set and happy , we went to sleep, to get up in the morning for greeting the new year .So once again Happy Vishu and may all your wishes for the year come true

Vishnu (name changed)

He sat in front of me with eyes too big for his face ,fixed on my face .It shone with expectation and a little uncertainty .Even as I speak to him ,his gaze shifts to focus on something on the wall and roams about till I rapp him for attention .
We have been acquaintance for almost three weeks now .His reading has improved but not his grasp over the subject .
“Okay now, Vishnu (name changed for obvious reasons ) lets read the passage." .
He begins enthusiastically enough ,”Ek gaon mein ek darji tha ,”repeating after me .Uska naam tha Aslam." I stop. "Right....now tell me ..what was the tailors name ?”....He looks at me searchingly,"Aunty" ,he pauses, “ My birthday is in November.”
“Oh …did I ask you that?”Looking confused he turns back to the book before him and stares at it .I can almost hear the whirr and ,the click of his thoughts …
I sigh,” Lets start again .” Repeating slowly after me he labours to finish the passage .He gets stuck at the word Dukan again .Keeping my impatience in check ,I say “ Vishnu , you have read it just two seconds ago .Look at it well and think… what could it be .”
His eyes fixed on my face he starts chanting ,”da ,daa,di ,dee ,du ,doo …..He waits for a change in my expression and then he stammers ,.”.Du ..du …dukan”He smiles like a winner ..My patience straining at the leash I ask him to write the word five times .
I watch him as he, like a still life artist ,copies the word - curve ,whorl and line
We have been at this hammer and tongs for three weeks now .

Suddenly he looks up ,”Aunty , there were three elephants at the circus .”
“.Okay ....…so ?”
“No , nothing.”
I wait for him to finish .Suddenly he stops to stare intensely at his pencil .He holds the pointed end between his thumb and forefinger and looks thoughtful (.Now what !)
“Aunty ,He begins ,”You know Shashank of my class, he steals pencils and breaks them ,he also eats my snacks .”
I don’t have time to humour him so I ask tersely ,”Vishnu ,Have you realized that its your final exam in three days time ?Don’t you want to go to Second standard ?”
His reply is prompt , “No aunty , I want to go to Pre-Kg .There’s only playing there .”

Childhood truncated!!!!!

Eyebrows raised

Any women worth her sex would have been there and done that at least once in her life time These are places by women ,for women and of women but now there are exceptions Now you have them by men and not -so- men for men and women…. yeah..... I mean the beauty parlours.
The shaping of the eyebrows is one of the most riskiest operations done here ,due to its placement on your face .Its the one object on your face that can make or mar your looks. Its also a tool for expressing surprise ,disdain and anger After shaping them ,some people sport a permanent expression of surprise. Now note …no two eyebrows are alike ( I mean the human ones ) .There’s at least a hair’s difference from human to human .Actually our forensic department can use them in case fingerprints are not available …Interesting…eh ?They a vary in form ,texture and colour more than you can imagine .There are ones which are like straight lines, there are curved ones, thick and thin ones ,and some nonexistent ones .
No woman will dare step out of her house without her eyebrows done .I have a friend who rushed to the nearest parlour to have her eyebrows done, the moment she heard that a close relative of hers was critical and admitted .
‘Eyebrow shaping ‘ the ,most riskiest operation done in a beauty parlour .It involves various tools. A spool of thread is considered the best among them ..If you prefer otherwise you can cut them with a pair of scissors (preferably the moustache trimming ones ),tweeze them into shape with a pair of tweezers or burn them over a candle flame (done only as a last resort )
A lot of women prefer tweezing as its cheap and can be done at home .Its a DIY process basically . .All you need is a good tweezer, time, a steady hand and tissue to wipe your tears of pain .A steady hand is a must or you can take the help of your spouse, your neighbour and any one who is visiting your house at that time .
Paring with scissors is opted for 1. when you don’t have a parlour near by 2.You don’t have a tweezer and 3 .You Have have run out of candles .and of course the shape you get is questionable .and so the best option is threading .(period1 )
Threading is an operation that requires experience ,skill ,dexterity and a good mood(optional for the beautician ) .You have for the one with all the quantities and when you do find it,keep it , its worth it .Even a distance of 20km will not faze you .
A skilled beautician will hold the spool in her right palm ,loop the other end of the thread on her left finger and balance a bit between her teeth (oral hygiene is a must for this )and then she or he will loop ,twist ,jerk and pull ,… at the hairs on your brow .Sometimes there are assistants to hold your eyebrows up or to hold you down .
Sometimes you specify the shape you want (a straight line, a zig –zag ,a la Bipasha ,a curve , etc )or else leave it to the beautician and God .After its done your brows are smoothened with a cream( so that you don’t harbour any ill feelings )and is let out with a smile and a “come again ”but of course not before you’ve paid for it …
Now the rates are not standard, it differs from parlour to parlour. It can ago from Rs10 in’ just started’ parlours to Rs20 and 25 in an ‘ A grade established ones and 30 to 35 in de-grande –classe ones ,where the décor ,the ambiance and the attitude so overwhelms you that you meekly submit to them and let them them have their way with your eyebrows.... and more often than not exit with none at all .
The silver lining to the whole process is that God has been kind enough to give us eyebrows that grow back. Within a month’s period you’ll be your bushy self again ,ready to try out the new parlour in town .

Shades of gay

“The little boys were gay and happy as they tripped along gaily in their gaily coloured hats .some of them stopped by to pick up the nosegays growing by the side of the road. "


No sniggers, no smiles, no whispers …when I read the passage aloud to the class of VII.
That was then …around ten years back
Here is the …Now …
“Oh he looks so gay” says me seated at a popular eatery at a popular high end mall.
What?! Who? Where? Asks my partner and friend of long doing a pendulum .Using my eyes and hands I do a Kathakali and she spots him “No way, he isn’t”
“I say he is.”
“How would you know?”
“Well from the look he has on his face look at him smiling”
“All smiling men aren’t gay”
“Anyways id say he is...He’s got that something look.”
“You can’t tell if someone is gay going by his expression”
“Why not?”
“Well there are certain other things you have to look for …”
“Like?”
“Well …not from here”, whispers my friend conspiratorially indicating the crowd at the next table
“Oh Okay …” This was getting mysterious by the minute
Our eyes are trained on the subject under discussion .We watch him covertly being the polite citizens who considers staring to be rude.
Suddenly our man jumps up and waves to someone
Our heads attached to our not so young and flexible bodies do a 360 degree.
At the door way stood an attractive thing looking about her .She spies him and breaks into a hop and run .We swivel back on to him She has reached .He stands up to hug her and pulls out a chair for her .
We turn back and look at each other
“See he is not Gay …he’s got a girlfriend”
“But he is ….he is gay because he has a girlfriend.”
We argued on and at the end agreed to disagree on the topic .We left,each of us feeling both happy and gay at having won the argument.
Alls well with this happy and gay world.

Upon "Musing"

I have observed creative people especially writers and artists sit for hours together with dreamy unfocused eyes and then get up and leave with a sigh .Generally such people are not considered normal and their quirky behaviour is either shrugged off or is smiled upon ..You’ll know what I am talking about if you have one of those species at home.

It was only much later that I found out that the sighing ,the waiting and the dazed unfocused look was for the “Muse” These species often sported “the look” when they were in conversation with her .
Now …For those who don’t know who or what I am talking about …..The Muse is the goddess who presides over writers and pursuers of other creative activities.
Now the Muse is not someone who keeps her appointment with you. She is fickle and is often given to moods .Sometimes she will jump in and out of your thoughts and other times she’ll just rush in and remain there .That’s when you’ll frantically search for the pen ,paper , pencil , brush, a stick of lipstick anything you can get your hands on so that you can capture her and make her your own .
But these visits are sometimes made at the most inopportune moments like when you are hanging by the straps in a crowded bus, jammed between bodies, or when you are at a meeting with the big wigs ,then your skill as a contortionist may help you reach your pen and pad or you will have to do an Archimedes (you know ---the EUREKA man) which might leave you with the Muse and nothing else.
And sometimes she floats into your thoughts at about 2 am in the morning .You wake up with a shock .hold on to her ,willing her not to float away while you got your creative tools ready .Let me warn you ….This is not quite popular with the members of the family .The reason is obvious . You’ll have to face the wrath of a grumpy family the next day who might even deny you your breakfast, lunch and supper!
When the writer in me awoke from wherever it was snoozing I too began getting ready to woo the Muse .Loaded with pen ,paper , sharpened pencils and erasers I scouted the whole of my house for that perfect place where I could welcome the Muse and ,make her comfy This I located after scouting for three days ..It was a niche under the stairs .and there I sat day in day out, waiting for that wonderful feeling which will denote the arrival of my Muse.
She never came .My papers were covered with idle doodles .Well ….no big deal .I decided that writing was not my forte .anyway there was enough literature in this world to last a few centuries and yes I was contributing to saving trees (What an idea sirji !!!)
And then one day there she was!!As I stood with my hands up to my elbows in soapy water, soaking last nights dinner plates and glasses one by one from the stack next to me…….She floated in cool as a cucumber. dishes could wait but the muse wouldn’t .Not even bothering to wipe my hands I grabbed the first available paper my eyes fell on which was the backside of our Mahanagara palikes electricity bill for the month ..I captured her!!Lock stock and barrel.
Now we have a pact .She comes on to ,me the moment I sink my hands into the soapy sudsy water for washing my plates …but I am ready I have stacked papers and pencils on the shelf next to the sink .and .Towels to wipe my hand . Of late I have graduated to an old diary …way to go Miss Muse ….Way to go!!!

Mr.Rottweiler (pronounced Rot -vile-er)

Mr.Rottweiler ....not his real name of course but one I named him .He had recently moved into our neighbourhood .A thick set ,balding man of around thirty five who walked with a slight limp .There was also something not quite right with his right arm .It was obvious as he would be swinging his left one but the right would be hanging down his side without any movement while he walked.
He first walked upto me a week after I brought two puppies home .I was outside training them or rather they were training me to be an obedient mistress.I nearly jumped out of my skin when he asked me "How much did you pay for them?"the question was so sudden and least expected as i was busy watching the pups playing tag with the leash .
I spun round my heart in my mouth .I had visions of someone with a knife ready to stab me (My overactive imagination on an overdrive as usual )but a fright i did get and so my reply was quite cold .Guess it satisfied him .Thus we had routine dialogues related to dogs and only dogs .Its only my natural politeness that made me be civil to him .My politely cold replies and scowling expressions did not faze him, he came back for more .
I did try changing my training times to avoid his questions but to no avail as the puppies had set the timetable .It was that or cleaning up the poo and the pee from the carpet and from every mat in the house.The latter was anyday welcome .The questions were routine ...what do you feed the pups ? When do they settle down?Do they like milk alone or with bread ?I was not an expert on dog feeds but then i did go and get a book on one so that i was ready with the answers.
When he exhausted the questions on feeding he began with training .Thus now i have books on training ,grooming ,eating and sleeping habits of dogs ,books on interpretation of their barks ,whoops and howls ,their expressions ,likes and dislikes and a complete work on dogs of every breed .and dog stories by James Herriot I have even got a shelf made for the whole stack.The teacher in me did not like leaving questions unanswered It comes with having been a teacher for quite a long time.
Then one day he had just one question"Will you give me a pup?I love dogs" With an expression that has sent many a brave person scuttle into hiding ,i replied in freezing tones that neither of the pups were for sale .I was livid ,i was furious and i felt curiously betrayed.
The following days had me turning my back deliberately when i saw him coming ,the air around me freezed and icicles formed .It was my husband who then became his victim .He wanted to know where he could get pups and he wanted only rottweilers.(My poor husband had no idea that dogs known as rottweilers existed )It was then we named him so .He had the same enquiry for my husband whenever they happened to meet.and the enquiry was transferred to me .I do believe that being shameless is a skill and Mr.Rottweiler had it in plenty .
Rottweilers are good dogs .But banned in some countries for their ferocity and killer instincts .Well ...to each his own !But the name was there to stay .We referred to him thus, when any issue related to him came up like the payment, the layout water bill ,maintenance fee etc.It was "oh have to collect the amount from Rottweiler or i saw Rottweiler with a girl today or did you inform Rottweiler of the meeting ..so and so forth.
Months passed and my pups grew and they were well trained .There was no sign of any rottweilers .Then one day there was a strange howl and then there it was a rottweiler in real, not a pup but an adult dog ...harnessed,leashed and muzzled only the blinders were missing ...a doggy form of Mr.Hannibal the cannibal in his strait jacket, being led out by noneother than our Mr. Rottweiler .Poor poor rottweiler .....I mean the dog ,not Rot-viler the man.

My mobile times

Okay .I do admit that mobiles are not my favorite piece of art.Its just a gadget that works as its supposed to .All i had to know were the keys or buttons that i had press for it to work for me as and when i needed to communicate or be communicated to . Its a device that connects people and to me thats all it was ,till recently .The manuals that come with it are not exactly my favourite work of literature.They are for pushing into the farthest corner of any available cupboard only to be pulled out when the mobile does a flop .Mainly for the warranty card that comes attached to it and the customer service number .
But its not so with my lord and master who is a gadget freak.He is passionate about any piece of machinery that comes his way .He drools over them as i would over my romantic novels .He pores over the manuals ,checks, rechecks (perhaps by hearts too) till he is thoroughly satisfied .He tries out all the applications over and over again till the gadget groans in exhaustion .If he finds a flaw ,out comes the manual, he lets the customer service people have their day .If still not corrected by them out comes his chain saw and axo blade .The gadget is torn apart and after much muttering and cursing its sewed back .Sometimes all is fine otherwise its death knell for that piece of machinery .
so back to mobiles....we can now consider the axis (on which the earth turns) as obsolete ,its turning on a mobile now .The whole world has one and so do I.I received the basic training from my mobile savvy college going daughter who sports a swollen thumb (as its always attached to the keys of her mobile ).The rest I acquired by trial and error method, the result of which was a whopping bill in the first month .

A few days back I became fascinated by the pics clicked using the mobile .I thought it real cool and after much rummaging i managed to get my hands on a handset (discarded recently for reasons unknown to me )which had a camera .
My glee knew no bounds .(santhosh sivan ..here i come !!!)
So there i was clicking away merrily at anything and everything that caught my eye.i even did some experiments with angles and lighting especially on my dog Toffee who suffered in silence as she was promised a treat for every pose.A biscuit for every click .She did oblige me till it got too much for her and flopped down flat on the floor refusing to budge even for a bone .
The next subject was my husband .I wanted to catch and capture all his moods for posterity and so there i was tagging behind him with the lens focused on him 24/7.This went on for two days till he threatened to throw me out of the house if he caught me one more time clicking while he slept .(He does not believe that he looks good with his mouth open .)
Finally satisfied that i had everything covered i decided to get it uploaded.For a large chicken golden delight from Dominoes my daughter agreed to do it .
I waited ....bated breath and all ..for a 'ooh 'or a 'Ah cool' ...but not a whimper from her .Well i didn't expect any thing much I was only a beginner .Time passed ...unable to bear ,I demanded she show me the pictures ."What pics ??"demanded she in return How can there be any ?the set did not have a memory card ."Didn't you check ?
Aah ..well ....have decided to use mobiles for its original purpose to make calls and get calls.