Saturday, May 8, 2010

Chemeen varatti a la' mohandas

Here’s another one straight from Mohandas’ s kitchen and it’s a family favourite . Prawn stir fry in other words-- chemmeen varati The only thing that keep us from having it on a daily basis is the cost of prawns Believe me it’s a luxury and we usually nibble at the pieces to make it last long . So happy nibbling to all those who are going to try it.

½ kilo Prawns medium to large in size

1 tbspn turmeric powder

1 tbspn kasmiri chillie powder (by Everest preferably)

15 pods of garlic (skinned and crushed)

1½ inch long ginger (peeled, sliced and crushed)

Salt 1 tbspn (minimum) add more to suit your taste

Tamarind – the size of a small lime

Mix all the above and keep it aside

For 5 to 8 minutes

Grate ½ a coconut and keep aside

Curry leaves 15 to 20

Add the curry leaves to the above mixture and mix well

Add I tbspn coconut oil to the above mixture

Add ½ glass water and mix well .place it on the stove on medium flame and cook till the water reduces to a paste

Now reduce the flame and add one more tbspn of oil and the grated coconut and stir well till the mixture is dry

Remove from flame and add 1 more tbspn of coconut oil to it and keep it closed for 10 minutes. Stir once more .Keep it closed and open only to serve.

You may serve it in an ethnic mud chatti (earthen pot ….the Kerala type ...) for a dramatic effect …..or in a porcelain dish with a few coriander leaves placed strategically for a picturesque effect These may help in distracting the eaters if something goes wrong .

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Puppy(et) love

The makeshift puppet tent at the fair was filled to the brim .She pushed her way towards one side of the curtain and flopped down on the nearest chair she saw .She felt rather than saw him taking the chair next to hers .She had been avoiding him for the past two days but to day he had attached himself to her and followed her .He tried to take her hand in his She let him. He deserved at least that .Moreover she didn’t want to make a scene.

He began , “so why did you run away ?You knew id come after you .”

“I was scared.”She whispered

“of what ? Me ?”

“No ..not you exactly …oh, I don’t know”

“We have discussed this before and now why the change in you ?”

“Its not you ..its your family ..i don’t think they like me”

“My family is my concern ,not yours .You have to think only of me”

“Hmmm ..even then, they need to approve …”

“I don’t care …I love you and I am ready to give them up for you and that’s my last word .”

“Believe me... ..i do believe you.”

“Then don’t stall …come away with me .Lets run away”

“Run away ?...where will we live? What will you do ?”

“Don’t worry .I will start a business” .

“Business ? you ? but where ? How?”

“Trust me …don’t you ?”

“Oh I do ..but don’t you think we need some planning ?”

“Okay …..Do you love me ?”

“I love you…. truly .”

“Enough to trust me ?”

“Yes …yes I do truly.”

“Then that’s all I need.”

“But we cant live on love alone.”

“What else do we need ?”

“Well ….let me see…,”she stammered searching for the right word.

There was a thunderous applause .The show had come to an end .The lights dimmed .People began streaming out laughing and talking at the same time .

She fell silent and so did he

Footsteps were heard coming nearer.Some one shone a torch to their faces and shouted, “They are here”A hand stretched out and picked her up and him along with her as .their hands were entwined If it was thought to be strange ,it was not commented upon .They were dropped into the box and the footsteps hurried away to collect the others

She fell on top of him .He hugged her close and she cuddled closer to him .The lid closed over them and they slept .Tonight was theirs .

Sunday, April 25, 2010

The Man with a Mission

He entered the library as I sat making notes for an upcoming event .Tall ,well built with a pleasant face ,dressed like an executive sans the tie .My gaze went quickly to his shoes .They were shiny (shoes betray people )and of an okay make .I had seen him earlier in the office with our HM and thought he was an acquaintance of hers .

“Excuse me madam ,may I sit here ?”

I nodded (I hate being disturbed )He seated himself a little away from me and took out a book .I turned back to my work .I was aware of the silence in the room .As the school was not working that day, the room was silent and so were the corridors.
“What if ….”.my ever confused emotional mind began a dialogue with my practical mind “Should I get up and go ?.”

“Don’t be silly .”

“.i can scream ,cant I…”

“Who will hear you ?”

“Hmmmm….thats true”

Pretending to be deep in thought ,I took a survey of the room .The door was at the other end and I could make a run for it

“Wont you look silly ?”began practical my mind again ,

“So? isn’t it ..better to be safe than sorry .”

“Wait, let him make a move first”

“Right.” .

So I settled down to complete my work .Before that I took out my only weapon from my bag – my mobile, and placed it on the table

My ears were cocked up for any sound from him

“Er ,madam you seem to be busy .”
Nearly jumping out of my skin I smiled weakly ( Dude, are you blind ?)

Oh yes …some reports (none of your business anyway !.)

“Are you working here ?”he continued

(Why else would I be here, on a holiday ..you nit wit ?)

“Yes ..i am a teacher here .”

“Oh great!”

(what’s so great , I am not the president, just a primary teacher)

“May I take some time to talk to you”

(If I had some time I wouldn’t be here. )

I saw him getting up and I placed my hand on the mobile ….i could hurl it at him and buy time to make my escape .

Taking care to hide my thoughts from him I said politely ,”yes ..sir ….”(don’t judge a book by its cover )

He dragged a chair close

He began ,”you see I was not the man you see before you “

(Oh ..a sex change ..wouldn’t believe looking at him )

“I was a drunkard”

(Hmmm…)

“I was only 26 at that time.

(good for you ..so what are you trying to say ? )I schooled my expression to show interest .(its always best to humour a maniac )

“Then I was into drugs.”
(this was getting better and better )

My hand tightened over the mobile and I my feet hunted for shoes under the table

“I have had everything under the sun and then it was women…”

(Dude gimme a break .I ‘ve got the picture …you needn’t continue )

My feet slipped into my shoes (being ready is work half done )

My face expressionless, I stared at him

“Then everything changed…I was brought back from the dead “

(Dude ,you were better off dead )

It was my cue .. “oh ..How ..Who …?”

“My savior .the great Lord. He saved me ,he gave me back my life.”

(Okay ..got it ..now scoot ..)

“Madam ,would you like Him to help you too”

(from what ?from you ?if only he would )

Er,….no thanks , I am a bit busy now ,”said I ,”besides I have not yet attained your status in drinking before you were saved I have reached only at ,an occasional glass of wine …and as I am happily married other things have not crossed my mind yet .When I do need saving Ill surely let you know

I gathered my books and walked away as fast as I could ,without looking back .

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

The Mistress

She was his latest .He waxed eloquent when she was the topic .Her body ,her complexion ,her attitude …her looks …..Nothing was good enough for her .she had to have the best .Her her clothes ,her music system were the best that money could buy .He never tired of extolling her virtues and was always very sensitive to her moods .Her sound was pure music to him .Every whisper, every murmur had him running round in circles ..He never rested till she was happy .She was to look perfect when he took her out .and proud to show her off

His sensitivity where she was concerned knew no bounds and she knew well to play on his feelings .She had this sixth sense to play up on the days any outing was planned . .It would start with a hiccup followed by a cough ,then a wheeze and then the refusal to go anywhere. He would then peer into her insides ,a wipe there ,a pat here and she would be fine .He pored over journals and books to see what was good for her ,what will keep her purring and what will irritate her .And moody …by God she was …!

Every weekend you’d find him under her (no pun intended ).He would clean out her innards and wash her undersides till she groaned. He would spent hours brushin and polishing her body till she shone Any one who dared touch her had him to content with .All this attention as a wife that had to come to me was bestowed on her and the green eyed monster in me was straining at the leash to have a go at her .

But little does she know how fickle he is .She does not know that she is not the first one .She is his fifth .A new babe in the market …that’s all it takes for him to leave her .

Of late she’s been too cranky .Its her heart ..i believe its not working good as usual …the tubes, the valves or something ..there’s a murmur ….I’ve heard him discussing this with her specialist

Just days back I ve seen him poring over the pics of a new baby called Manza ….Dear Indica… I think your days are numbered …….

Monday, April 19, 2010

Fish curry a' la mohandas

Oh all right …all those who know me, knows that I am a lousy cook .Cooking is an art my husband is born with .(all thanks to his grandmother who honed this art to perfection in him )Ive done nothing to hinder it but only has seen to it that his talent is kept alive by handing over the kitchen to him from the time I got married .

The other day I had my cousin and her spouse over for lunch .Now my cousin is married to a true blue Goan . My husband knew that he came from the land of fish eaters (just GK ).So who better to test his fish recipes on. He looted our local fishmarket and we had- fish fried ,baked, smoked and curried .The only thing he didn’t attempt was a fish desert ( thank god for small mercies !)
Now the food was so good that I had our guests begging for the recipes .It was then it dawned to me that it would be a good thing to put it up for all those fish lovers out there….
And here it is …Meen kootaan a la Mohandas (u can pronounce it Maen-kut-ahn a la mohan…... Adds to the flavour! Sounds exotic too )

Ingredients
1 Sardines ..as much as you want (Please get it cleaned ,This recipe is for one Kg )
2. two large onions
3. Garlic .20 t0 25 pods (don’t forget to skin them )
4 .Ginger –a 1inch piece (use a ruler or inch tape )
5. 1/2 a coconut
6. Two tsp cumin
7 1 cup curd (the sour ones are better I am told )
8. Two green chilies –sliced
9. ¼ tsp turmeric powder
10.Two and a half to three tsp chillie powder
11. .salt to taste
12 . Tamarind the size of a small lime (soak it in warm water ,squeeze out to make a paste )
14 curry leaves (10 t0 15 )

I think I ve got it all Please improvise if you think some thing is missing

Method or is it procedure ( what ever !)

Grind the coconut (remember you have to scrape it first ) with cumin and the curd .(.add a little water if it is too thick and the mixie gets stuck) .Keep it aside
Slice the onions (not all of it ) keep a bit aside like about 1/4th
Add the powders (turmeric and chilly ) add the green chillies ,garlic (crushed) ginger (pieced )and curry leaves
Mix well with your hand (don’t forget to wash your hand after that ) .
Add 3 to4 cups of water , boil the whole lot .When the water is boiling well add the fish , the salt and the tamarind paste
.Boil till the water is reduced to 1/3 rd DO NOT STIR .
Now add the coconut- curd mixture to it and bring it to a boil .Keep boiling till you get the desired thickness
.Take it down from the stove
Now for the seasoning :
Take the small piece of onion kept aside …cut it into small pieces .Fry it in oil (preferably coconut) and add to the curry .Again a note of warning DO NOT STIR .Place a lid over the bowl so that the flavour does not escape .
Open at the time of serving .You are permitted to stir it lightly then .(me thinks ...the secret to the taste lies in not stirring )

Folks try it out ….and let me know
More to come if you liked it

Friday, April 16, 2010

Overheard .........

  • In a car …
"The person whose car you are trying to overtake is not reacting …."

  • At a house …
"Feel free to use our toilet …its dirty any way ."

"He wants a customized ear piece as he is selective in hearing ."

  • in a class for 8 year old s
"We use our reproductory organs to breath ."

  • In a driving school for cars …..

"We put out our left hand when we want to turn left."

"If I have an accident …i'll faint"
"Madam ,What if you caused it ?"
"All the same ,i'll faint."


"Madam ,I hope you are aware that each speed has a different gear"

  • Man to his wife to be …

"I am a regular at the bar ."(!!!!)

  • At a mall ….
Young woman to young man (maybe her husband )
"How dare you knock my father down ……"

  • At the hospital …..
"Don’t worry ,Its only a safety pin that he has swallowed and it was not open ."

  • One four year old to the other …..

"Yesterday at the circus, the elephant stamped my toe …see i've put a handy plast on it"

  • At a wedding …..
"Come again ….She s your aunt’s husband’s niece who is married to your brother’s wife’s ……".

  • Seven year old to her mother ..

"Capital of Maharashtra ? I wrote Delhi but Sithara wrote Kapil Dev ."

"I ate all the chocolates because you didn’t tell me not to ."


  • Man to five year old…..

"Son what is d. o.g"
"Dog"
"Ok so now you ask me something .....anything ."
"Okay …what is s.p.q"

  • At the dentist …..

"Madam they are not cavities ,they are manholes. "

  • Six year old first born ……

"Why didn’t you ask God for a better baby who’s not so naughty ?"

  • A man to his car

"Now…what’s your problem today!!"

  • Nineteen nothing to friend

"Oh I am so much in love with him"
Eeeek ..he’s a freak !!!
"That’s the best part"

  • Son to mother

“Are you happy going over the pictures in the obituary page everyday ?Don’t you want to see yours on it someday ”

Shoe string ties

The street was bustling with people unleashed. . Sales and sales everywhere…. …and there I stood...on the brightly lit street with no particular thought in my mind .Faces hurried past me .. Bodies jostled to get into the buses and the autos did 80 to 360 degrees in that small space adding to the general confusion
I shifted my gaze to the vendors seated .From where I stood..in front of a hardware shop (my husbands idea of paradise )I could see the lady with the bananas, the lime man the,flower vendor and the girl with the greens .As they counted out the change and tucked them into their hidden pockets in the folds of their sarees and shirt, they carried on with their talks .A laugh here ,a sneer there and ,a shout to someone across the street in a world by themselves. I turned .My eyes picked and chose people by their attire and attitude...Colours mingled and separated to come together again ,Mothers dragging tiny tots ,wives dragging behind their hurrying husbands ,couples holding hands and strolling with all the time in the world …it was then I felt that I was being watched .I turned passing my eyes over the crowd , I saw her ,She was standing just a few feet away in front of a medical shop .
I searched her face …no no one I knew...Her clothes were trendy and new She was young and pretty in a newly married way .and that she was ,clear from her Punjabi ‘choodas’.But what caught my attention were her shoes Oh… they were so pretty .Being a shoe collector from birth (as my mother puts it )I could not take my eyes of them .They were delicate .Silver straps criss crossed over her toes to end in a studded buckle and her feet too, was perfect for it, well shaped and delicate ,the heels were silver. I stared and stared, I itched to know where she bought them from.
Now patience is not one of my virtues but impulsiveness is. (And quite proud of it too)In fact it’s my second nature.
I walked across to her and said “Hi, Nice Shoes” She looked taken aback .Her eyes filled up (Dear God ….what have I done now??)She caught my hand and with a smile said “Sorry, it’s just that you are the first person who has talked to me after coming here. I’ve been here for six months now .and have no friends, other than my husband of course...” She gave a light laugh and continued “Sorry I was staring …it was your shoes really...I had a similar one back in Chandigarh and I felt so nostalgic …….”